I'm writing you this letter because I've always liked you and appreciated business.
As you know, though, you currently owe me $1,761.35, an amount that you appear to be having trouble paying. Idiot #2 has been trying to get in touch for three weeks now to discuss this past due balance, but he's not getting any response.
Joe, I understand completely that times are hard for a lot of people right now. In fact, I've been in a similar situation where I was having cash-flow problems and unable to pay my vendors on time. It happens to the best of us.
The thing is, when you go quiet on me -- not returning phone calls, not responding to mail -- I get nervous. You see, when you're as quiet as you are right now, I can't help but feel like you're avoiding me.
Joe, there's no reason for you to avoid me or the subject of this past due balance. If you want to make monthly payments on this, we can talk about that. Or, if you want to settle this account with a lump-sum payment, I could see my way to clear to offering you a discount.
(It would certainly be cheaper, faster, and easier for all of us than using a collection agency. And let me tell you, if there's one thing I hate, it's a collections agency!)
So you see, Joe, I'm making it as easy on you as possible to discuss the status of your account and how we can get it caught up.
Please call me on (800) COCK-HOUSE within the next few days so that we can keep the dialogue going. It would be great to work something out with you.
I think they are still keeping their name and logo and all that legal bullshit "Radio Shack," but they want to be known as "The Shack" in their marketing and on the street.
Having said that, I admit that I am not thrilled about the terms of the PIPE.
The $3.01 share price looks good on paper, but I don't like the payment terms for the $640 million investment. The market doesn't seem to like it, either.
Anyway, it doesn't matter, since I know none of you actually got in when I told you.
I'm watching this closely, but I may have to eject sooner than I originally planned.
Edmunds says you can get an average 2001 RX300 for $10,000. If you can find one that has been maintained well, that's still a great car. My wife's is a 2000, though, not a 2001 -- my mistake.
WHERE ARE ALL THE QUEERS, GAYS, FAGGOTS, TREVS, MILTONS, AND NE'ER-DO-WELLS -- YES, NE'ER-DO-WELLS! -- WHO WILL SAY THAT SHE'S UGLY, FAT, TOO MUCH "THIS," NOT ENOUGH "THAT," BLAH-BLAH-BLAH?
IS THERE A SOCKFUCKER CONVENTION TAKING PLACE ON THE INTERWEBS?
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